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A small segregated town in Allenville, Mississippi in 1960.
When a tragic event occurs in someone’s life, it can have a major impact on them. It can cause them to have mental and physical issues. Carrying the weight of their past can be devastating. This is the story of an African American, eight year old girl, name Cerena Wailes. Cerena has two brothers and seven sisters.
She is the sixth child of the Wailes family. Cerena is a person that pulls and needs a sense of belonging. She tries to fit in, even when she knows she doesn’t belong. Cerena stutters when she gets excited, so she tries to stay low key and not talk much. She is a tomboy, who loves to walk barefoot and help her daddy and granddaddy mow the yard.
One day her entire world turned upside down. She was sexually violated by her older brother. Cerena (CeeCee is her nickname) was violated in March 1966, at the tender age of eight years old. The molestation continued until she was eighteen years old. Sexual molestation from her brother, uncle and two male cousins caused this bubbly, energetic, vibrant little girl to become stuck in a web of pain.
Her innocence was taken away one Saturday morning, in her bedroom. While playing tag, baseball, and other fun games with her friends and dolls with her female cousins, she was introduced to a life she knew nothing about. This incident left little CeeCee totally confused. She wanted to ask questions and needed answers, but she had no one to confide in.
While CeeCee didn’t understand the world she was in, all she knew was she wanted to be free. According to her, this world was so unpleasant. Her dreams were shattered, she felt like she was a target of not becoming all that she wanted to be, because of the senseless act that was done to her.
Even though CeeCee was fragile, quite, known as a tomboy and had dreams, of becoming whatever she desired, she felt like she couldn’t. Her mind was suppressed by the incidents that occurred in her life.
She felt like a slave to her predators, she believed what they told her. “Don’t tell anybody” or “If you tell, they will not believe you”. Every time the incidents occurred she heard those words. She laid there helpless and didn’t know what was happening and why it was happening.
Even though, CeeCee is a member of a strong Christian family, they also were dysfunctional. Henry Wailes, CeeCee’s father, married Hannah, when she had four children and jealousy arose among the children. CeeCee is a member of the youth choir, sunshine band and active in Sunday school.
From the teachings of her Pastor, school teacher, not to mention the upbringing of her parents, she still didn’t understand why God allowed something like that to happen to her. Here’s a precious innocent little girl depending on God to take care and watch over her, didn’t understand why He was allowing this to happen to her.
The concept (whatever happens in the family, stays in the family) did more harm than good. She was walking around frustrated, upset, resentful, bitter and powerless. She wanted to know what was going on and why was this happening to her. She was the only one getting hurt, while the other person or persons was having their way with her. They were also living their life to the fullest, while she just existed.
CeeCee dealt with this web of pain until the age of thirty two years old. She was tired of sabotaging friendships, driving good people out of her life, due to her pain of her past. The baggage of her past was extremely heavy. She wanted to be totally set free. She was completely healed, delivered and set free when she accepted Jesus Christ as her personal Lord and Savior.
She also discovered holding it in, allowed the person to have power over her. The very people who violated her controlled her happiness. When the perpetrator walked in the room, she would leave the room.