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Naughty Nata by Donna Deal

Naughty Nata
by: Donna Deal

Logline 1:
In the seedy underbelly of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina,
Annette and her friends find themselves entangled in a
dangerous web of deception and crime after a wild girls' trip
takes an unexpected turn, forcing them to confront their own
secrets and fight for their lives.

Logline 2:
Amid the dark shadows of Myrtle Beach, a fun-filled girls' trip
spirals into chaos as Annette and her group grapple with a risky
maze of crime and betrayal, ultimately battling their own hidden
truths and the looming threat to their safety.

Logline 3:
In the shadowed lanes of Myrtle Beach, Annette and her friends'
adventurous getaway quickly spirals into a treacherous ordeal.
As unexpected encounters ensnare them in the world of crime,
Their loyalties are tested, and hidden truths emerge.

Re: Naughty Nata by Donna Deal

If you don't mind a suggestion I'd say try to put more into the logline as to what the film will be about. Right now they all sound kind of general. What kind of incident is going to put them in danger? A murderous stalker or a madman following them with his truck like in the hitcher? Imagine what the logline for "The Hitcher" was (actually, google it and see).Give a potential producer something to grab on to so they will want to read the entire script. No one would have read "The Hitcher" script if the part of the mad truck driver was left out of the pitch.

Also, your loglines make me wonder why the title is Naughty Nata? Is she going to be the main protagonist or antagonist? She isn't even mentioned in any of your variations. Make a producer say "I gotta read this script".