WOW... ....What an amazing article you have given us, Trish..and I am so glad that these points were made by someone who actually knew her well. It now makes me feel much better about my meeting/seeing her backstage at the Joey Bishop Show. For these many years, I have felt badly about what I said..and how it must have been taken, but now I no longer feel that way.

Yes...I would totally agree that Susan was not one to snuggle up to compliments as much as if you were to be 'real' and outspoken.

I too..am a complex, complicated person and probably another reason 'why' I was so drawn to her performances..and real life (as much as I might have known about it, which is not much, since I was just 'a fan'.

But in telling my story about the Joey Bishop experience, there is one thing I have always 'left out' of that story. True..I had stood there in 'awe' of standing next to her in that hallway and unable to speak what I really wanted to say, because I knew 'that guy' who had just been in her dressing room, I knew, had already told her..what a great actress he thought she was, etc...(because we heard that while sitting on those stairs, trying to listen to their conversation..until Susan saw us and told him to close the door.)
So...I just stood there..admiring her and unable to speak to her!

Then...I watched 'the thing' of her avoiding any contact with idiot, Don Rickles..and he gave me the 'look' of 'Boy is she a cold one.' as he went to leave.

I was trying to get up the nerve to speak to her then, but hesitated, because I did know she was in a wonderful, smiling mood, just before Rickles had tried to approach her and she shunned him, by not even turning around.

Then I realized I had waited too long, because all of a sudden this couple came down the hall and asked if she was ready. She went to get her wrap from the dressing room and as she came by us (Jo Anne and I)..Jo Anne knew, by that time, I was never going to 'open my mouth to say anything to her', so she asked her to sign this piece of paper she had found. They had actually started to walk down the hallway when Jo Anne did this, but Susan stopped, smiling and told her 'sure'..and turned to sign the paper against the wall. WELL...this irritated the 'woman' that was there to pick her up and she gave some kind of 'annoying sound'. I turned and gave 'the woman' a dagger-stare that stopped her dead in her tracks! I was upset and a little angry, because it had not bothered Susan, but 'did bother' this 'grey-haired woman'.

That is when I got the 'nerve' to finally speak..and said..."Miss Hayward, I am so sorry about the bad reviews on "Back Street"...a stupid thing to say, but I was also upset at 'that woman' and it just came out that way!

She turned and said...coldly "Thank You"...and then they continued down the long hallways to the waiting limo. We followed them all the way out to the waiting crowd and limo. Susan signed only two autographs before getting in the limo..and then it was like she was staring over at me! I figured I had brought back 'unpleasant memories'..and that hurt me.

I must admit..I was still upset with 'that woman' and have always been/will always be I guess...because once Susan stopped to sign the paper and I could see how 'happy' she still was, I did want to speak to her, but what came out was the 'wrong thing' because my mood had changed with the actions of 'that woman'.

I don't know 'the woman's' name, but she and her husband were the ones who got Susan to do MAME in Las Vegas, because she and her husband were on interviews, after that about the MAME-thing...and telling Susan that she would have a great chance at the movie role if she did this Vegas production. I have seen them on other interviews, so I know they must have been close friends with Susan. The man was fine..just...'that woman'...

NOW...I have finally told the entire story of how 'MY FOOLISH MOUTH' said what it did..and had I held back my 'temper' I would have said something much different, because it was not said to be mean toward Susan..it was just something that came to my mind at the time. I happen to LOVE..."BACK STREET" and did feel the critics were unkind to her, on one of her greatest performances. I know so many friends who became 'Susan fans' after seeing that fine film.

Soooo...maybe Susan would have liked me, too, because...like herself, I do show my true feelings and don't hold back! (sorry..we all have our faults)

One more thing..I would like to make clear...Susan had her back to us, signing the paper, when I gave 'that woman' the dagger-stare, so Susan never knew anything about that...only what I said to her...