My sponsor reminds me that my disease is out there, in the parking lot, doing push ups....
Tim and Errol....thankfully, our generation has learned that addiction is the "fight of your life - to be fought for your lifetime.' Anyone, here, who's been touched personally by addiction (of any kind) "gets it" that everyday you wake up, you are (as my twin, Lynn, said with caring humor) "out there giving this disease ten of your best!"
With much support,
Alice (Eight minutes younger so it takes me at least 8 minutes longer to post. And yes...bummer...Lynn got her Social Security 8 minutes sooner.)
Tim....I'm sorry to say...my sponsor 'crashed and burned' and I thought it would lead me back to the disease...but it didn't! I am so sorry for him, but he sort of 'dumped' me...The last I knew he was living in San Fransisco. I guess it made me stronger, by that time and so I continued on.
Alice...thanks for the 'encouragement'..and 'understanding' that many don't see. They figure "It's only booze or pills or whatever..so just STOP and get over it."
TIM and I...know it is..."ONE DAY AT A TIME"...
Tim...Love that your 'disease' is just doing 'push-ups' in the parking lot. I avoid 'parking lots' now...like you do!! Never can tell what you might find, lurking in the...shadows! Might be someone..telling you.."You're not fun anymore" now that you showed them the EXIT sign!!
I have experienced my first two sponsors "going out"...the first had not done the Steps the way they are suggested in the BB and the second, claimed that he was "not really" alcoholic, after 21 years in the program. Better them than me...their lives pretty much sucked after doing so...
Tim...I hear you..and think.."better them than me'....
What most people don't understand..is that IF you do go back to drinking (or any of the other 'abuse-diseases' you were on)..You don't..''start all over again'. You will 'start back'..at the place you left off..and that is a very scary thought, because 'you know' how bad it was when you finally 'stopped'.
But to start drinking again..(after 21 years of being sober)..you have just fallen off the cliff and it is a 'deathfall' from there and on.
Last year..I met a person who was a 'movie buff' like myself, so I invited him over to watch some great classics. He is also a fan of your mom's..so I thought it would be great. UNTIL he insisted I take him to the liquor store, so he could have a 'cocktail' while watching the films. I did it 'one time only'..but told him I would NOT be drinking with him..that I was an alcoholic. He got a big laugh at that..thinking I would surely join him.
Like i said..it was the 'first and last' time I invited him to watch movies. I felt like 'maybe I could help him, so I talked to him on internet about maybe going to some A/A meetings..and I would go with him. He showed 'his other side' when I mentioned this to him. Called me all kind of names..and then a week later was pleading to get together for some more 'movie watching'. I asked if he could do it without drinking.(because he truly was an alcoholic) I was told to 'SHOVE' the A/A meetings..(you know where)..that he now hated me.
I would have tired to help him...but first..YOU need to want to get cured. He was totally not ready..and I was not about to have 'the disease' close at hand.