"Why should there be suffering?" This is a familiar question, asked by everyone who has begun to think about the deeper mysteries of life. "Why does the Almighty permit pain? Shame on him! If God were the least bit humanitarian he would have abolished misery long ago, or would not have included it in his plan."

On the other hand, there is the story of Kunti (in the Mahabharata), the mother of the Pandava brothers, who prayed that she might never be free from distress. "Pain", she said, "drives my mind to the Lord Krishna. So let me always suffer, in order that my thoughts may always run to him."

Although I am repelled by misery and would escape it, yet I have come to see something wonderful in it. Beneath the unpleasant hides the beneficial. Pain is the whip that Providence uses to drive us — against our will — to our best destination.

Every one of us is looking for bliss. This search may, for example, cause one to fall in love. One pursues an earthly object because of the promise of beauty and bliss one sees in it. There are moments of joy in such human relationships. But, as everyone knows, these are mainly the come-ons — the sales pitches of the barkers out in front of the carnival tent. Once inside, one finds the show not at all up to the advertising.

My search for pleasure has brought me pain. This again drives me on to continue the hunt for joy. No luck! I try something else. But again the same result. Each shiny apple turns rotten as soon as I bite into it.

But something good is happening. The alternatives open to me are diminishing. Pain is driving me from one position to another, each as untenable as the previous one. At last I come to the end of all possibilities. There is now nothing left but God.

I have been told countless times that renunciation is the indispensable condition of religion. I know it, but I can't put it into practice. Who can renounce willingly, rationally, because it is the right thing to do? Attachments have to be torn away; or I have to drop them because to hold them hurts me more than letting them go. We don't renounce, we are forced to relinquish; and pain is the agent that forces this to happen.

I can see that tribulation is God's instrument of mercy. Instead of berating Him for having made suffering a part of the scheme, I should thank God for having done so. Pain is the Lord's special invention for bringing us to His side.

Source: Leaves of an Ashrama by Swami Vidyatmananda

Location: Wilmslow, UK

I believe this to be absolutely true.
The analogy about the carnival brought to mind something that my son said to me once. He loves music, and once a song came on the radio that he particularly liked. He said ,"Mom, I love this song, but I have found that I like music better if some piece that I love comes to me spontaneously, it just happens to come on the radio" and I have found this to be so true about lilfe and things that I think I want. So in a sense, as much as possible, I have stopped running after things, and wait to see if they come to me.
Also, I've noticed that I am holding myself in rein before I take any sort of action, to see if Mother says "yes". And I know when she says "yes".
And I have not entirely missed the point of your post, that pain and misery drive us toward God. As Ram Das says "grist for the mill".

Location: North Carolina

RE: Pain

I have seen an advertisement on TV, for extra-strength
Tylenol. We see a woman working at her keyboard and it appears
that flames are coming from her wrists. Suddenly, another
woman shows up, with a bottle of Tylenol. The pain, of course, goes
away and everybody is happy.

Pain is a great friend of the body, for it alerts us to present and
impending danger. By simply 'taking a pill', to mask this pain,
we are not doing any favours to our 'temples of the Lord'.

The keyboard operator, as depicted in the Tylenol advertisement,
would be 'much better off' to visit a medical doctor; who will help her
to eliminate the 'causes' of the apparent tendonitis; rather than simply taking a pill and continuing
the abuse, as before, resulting in more severe problems, which could be irreversable.

Also, I don't know, if I fully agree with Swami Vidyatmananda, when he says:

"Every one of us is looking for bliss. This search may, for example, cause one to fall in love. One pursues an earthly object because of the promise of beauty and bliss one sees in it. There are moments of joy in such human relationships. But, as everyone knows, these are mainly the come-ons - the sales pitches of the barkers out in front of the carnival tent. Once inside, one finds the show not at all up to the advertising."

Comment: Many of us, have had the pleasure of observing true love
and devotion between married couples; that have withstood the test
of time; filling our hearts with joy. Usually, such successful
long-lasting marriages have a strong Spiritual foundation.

Sri Ramakrishna said [speaking to householders]:

"As far as possible you people will live unattached
amidst women. In between you will go to a solitary
place and meditate on God. None else should be there!
When you have gained faith and bhakti for Him, you
will be able to live unattached to a fair extent.
After having one or two children both husband and
wife must live together as brother and sister.
And they must pray to the Lord that the mind may
not go in sensual enjoyment - there be no more children."

-also-

"He who has realized God does not look upon
a woman with the eye of lust;
so he is not afraid of her.
He perceives clearly that women are but so many aspects
of the Divine Mother.
He worships them all as the Mother Herself."

Om Tat Sat

Thank you Rosemary and thank you Tom.

Some expressions either speak to you or they don't. Swami Vidyatmananda's expression does speak to me.

Tom, what Swami Vidyatmanada is expressing does not, in my view, contadict the statements which you have so scholarly quoted. What you have quoted is very valid but with my limited abilities I fail to see the connection. Swami is not saying what I think you're implying. Like any other struggling soul, Swami is giving expression to his personal feelings. If his expression does not speak to you then it is not meant for you.

Om Shantih!

Location: Wilmslow, UK

I do not see the idea here as being "against love", Tom.

Rather it is the recognition that "This, too, will pass." As Sri Ramakrishna said, even a golden chain, one which helps us progress spiritually, is a binding that must eventually break free from.

When we do this is individual, and I like that Vedanta assures us that playing in this garden of creation is fine for as long as this satisfies us.


When placed in the great eternal, our romp here is just that: A romp. That which is eternal in us IS always driving us home to our true nature, to our true existence. In this way we are always looking for bliss, for freedom -- for more. When we have exhusted opportunities in this world, we begin looking beyond.

But you are right, Tom. Mostly it requires a good many blows to inspire us to seek genuine relief. We have become masters at "masking" all kinds of pain because we do not understand the oportunity it offers to us.

Location: San Diego, California, USA

I was not happy with my post here. Sometimes I get a little "puffed up" with my feeling, and when I do, I almost immediately fall flat on my face and hurt myself very badly. I have learned this lesson well.
I said that I always know when Mother says "yes". This is not entirely true. When "Yes" is really yes, and I am in tune then I know it strongly. I do not always hear "NO"
I love you guys. What we desire and stuggle with brings our own peace or pain. They say desirelessness is ideal. I'm not there yet.
I wonder where Jayanti is..

Location: North Carolina

Tom,
Thanks for saying I have a knack.
All,
The issues here of attachment to the phycical body are always running through the currents of my mind.
You all have deeper thoughts than I do on this.
All I know is that the Maharshi said that everything was predestined. The next question of course was then, where is our freedom? His reply then was that the only freedom we have is the freedom not to identify with the body.
My views on lust, etc are similar to Tom's. I have thought at times about becoming a Nun (I forget the Hindu term), I believe my own life would be easier that way, but I know I am not ready, do not really desire this. I am with Tom on this that there is something to earthly relationship that can bring you to God, but perhaps all of that is destiny also.
This does not mean that I am against the precept of self denial. But I beleive that most of the Saints were beyond struggle with this. They just threw it off. (Maybe they went through many lifetimes of stuggle?)
I think about Mother and how she wanted children so badly. But when she got Radhu, was "Momicked" (a down east term for aggravated) almost to distraction (I did say almost, she WAS very tried with her) I also remember that when Sri Ramakrishna became aware of her deep desire for children, he asked her "Do you really want to go through that" (What her parents had suffered with the loss of a child).
Had we known what we would suffer here, would we have chosen to take this body?

Location: North Carolina

Jayanti, dear,
I heard you say that you were tired, and I am very sorry about your friend.

Rose

Location: North Carolina

Thank you, Rose.

I am actually leaving soon to visit my family and take care of family "stuff", another source of temporary emotional drain...

As I draw strength in Mother to face the demands of life and loved ones, I pray that all of Mother's childern may join me in feeling the warmth of her grace in their lives.

Until I return... Jai Ma!

Location: San Diego, California, USA

Dear All,

What a wonderful article of Swami Vidyatamanada ji you have brought to us brother Vriju!

It reminds me of happenings of my own life.

For 7 years since i was seventeen, i prayed everyday for renunciation, pure love for God and monastic life for myself. All the temples i ever visited i had only one prayer that i may love the Lord with pure love.

When i saw people praying for worldy things like wealth, marriage, worldly happiness, i used to feel - 'how can they??'........ alas perhaps that was my undoing. Had i started considering myself spiritually higher , more moral then others?? Perhaps subconciuosly.

Well last year i was taught a lesson - i fell in love with somebody, never thought i would but over time i did......

and what happened? - i am ashamed to say but now my prayers to the Lord everyday did not include the line 'make me a true monk..' anymore ....

i found myself justifying my new pattern of thought , i said why couldnt i love to God and pray to him whilst leading a married life. when i went to temples i was tempted to beg the Lord for for a happy worldly life too. I was doing the very same thing that i criticised others for!!!

I do not believe the change that has copme in my beliefs just over the last few months , and i have forgotten all that i beleived in for 7 years of my life.

My love life is not very happy , and unfortuanately i find myself thinking day n nioght about the person concerned instead of thinking of or praying to God!

my prayers have reduced, my thoughts are no longer pure, i have indeed fallen.

i do not know what to do.

Why has the Lord done this? I am neither here nor there.

And its so true - when im happy in my love life, when things are going fine, i do not even think of God. only when im unhappy i think of Him.

Im stuck!! stuck big time.... what madness is this!

Location: mumbai

Brother Bluto,

Mysterious is the power of Maya. The Samskaras and Vasanas are very powerful. Sanyas is sterner stuff. It demands endurance, renunciation and dispassion. Mind has to be purified first by destroying Vasanas and Raga Dwesha.

The important thing to remember is not how many times we fall, but that we rise up each time we fall.

Location: Wilmslow, U.K.

Brother,
The only thing that bothers me about your post, is that you say the relationship is not happy. If it were happy, I would not be worried.

Location: North Carolina

Dear Sister rosemary and Brother Vriju,

first of all thank you for ur replies....

Sister perhaps if my relationship was happy i would not be here in the courtyard that often, perhaps i would think of God less......

I also want it to be happy, but perhaps God wills otherwise, but in any case it is true that that unhappiness does bring my mind to think about God.

Location: mumbai

You were thinking about God before your relationship, you are thinking of him now. Please do not condemn yourself. I am sure you would not condemn me.
We are where we are.

Location: North Carolina