Just a few comments, Rosemary, from my own experience.
1. Samskaras are very powerful in their effect. They influence our actions. However, we are the architects of our sanskaras (both positive and negative) and we also have the ability to neutralise them through yoga and meditation.
2. Difficulties are often a greater teacher in life. They have a potential to bring out the best in us.
3. Real change can only come from within us. We cannot change others, we can only influence it by our own example and conduct.
Hinduism recognizes different "types" of individuals, if you will.
One is the incarnation of God -- diviniity incarnates and is born.
Another is the ever-free -- those who are born with knowledge of their true natture.
And the rest of us -- who are born with neither knowledge or awareness of their true nature.
Now, what is interesting is that even individuals from the first two catagories come under the veil of ignorance/unawareness by virtue of being born into a physical body. Incarnation, such as Christ and Ramakrishna are not ordinary folks, yet they went through a period of intense spiritual practice before coming into recognition as a spiritual master.
Similarly, Sri Ramakrishna said that Swami Vivekananda belonged to those who are the ever-free, but Swami Vivekananda was not fully aware until towards the end of his life.
Both of these go through personal transformation quickly, because the veil of maya is very thin. Yet, they do go through a process of becaming aware.
For the rest of us, the transformation that comes from becoming aware of our true cnature is very slow. It takes place over lifetimes, many lifetimes. We tend to work on different aspects of our tendancies as we chip away at the covering of ignorance /maya that binds us to the world.
Can and do we change? Of course! Nature alone forces us to change, but when we make a conscious effort, we can bring obout changes more quickly. Put forth enough conscious effort and Vedanta says we can break through altogether, in this life.
However, few can must that much effort. So, yes, there will seem to be lines that we will not cross and we can appear "stuck". But through reincarnation we keep chipping away aspects of our ignorance . With each lifetime we make some progress.
And lines that are barriers to us today, in this life even, will melt away in some future lifetime.
When the covering of attachment through ignorance has been chipped quite thin, then it may be broken away in a flash. We see this as "a great change" and are not aware of the countless changes that brought us to this point.
I just thought of something. Perhaps for some of us, the two things happen simultaneously. The shingles drop from our eyes, and we change...also we change, and the shingles drop from our eyes. Right now, this is the only way I know to say this. If it happened too rapidly, as in the case of Paul (Saul), some of us could not handle or contain it, so for some of us it happens slow, as we are able to take it.
You have described it well. This is, actually, a concept within Hindu understanding of how we come to realize the Truth. :) Our spiritual practice, our life experiences, these may be said to be preparation. We must make ourselves ready, step by step.
