Spiritual life is not easy and has many obstacles and difficulties. One of these difficulties that I keep facing is faith or “shraddha”. What makes faith special is its inherent nature. When present the aspirant feels endowed with energy and like a surfer “rides the wave”. When faith is there, then even if there is no prayer or japa, the aspirant can move and is not affected by the external or even internal disturbances. It is almost like the center of soul is untouched.



When faith is lacking, you may spend hours doing japa or meditation or read all the books or come to the courtyard but nothing, nothing seems to touch and calm your inner peace. The test is rather tough at that time. The aspirant moves here and there, looking for a portion of that medication called faith, which s/he knows, will allow him/her to regain strength and energy to move.



I was in such a state not so long ago and this time I resolved not to do anything “active” about it. Let me see I told myself. I did not feel the best and did suffer but I was a stubborn son of the Mother, let me see how She is going to get the center back to me and let me become the surfer riding the wave.



So I waited and waited, returned to the courtyard and felt no inspiration. Nothing seemed to touch me. Oh yes, I did do some reading but nothing about the Mother.



Then one night I wrote a note to one of the children here in the courtyard … to crib and complain only to be told that there is a post waiting. I rushed and read Anthony and Jayanti’s words.



I smiled, and looked at Mother. Yes you are there and take care of us so well. I am not riding a wave but I see the wonder of the Mother. Just her presence here gives all of us strength and courage. My faith is renewed. I however see how Mother touches my life everyday. I am humbled that She reaches out to me truly like a Mother and takes me in Her lap. Smiling at me she says, “Foolish son, I am always here”