Coming to the courtyard is a habit. I come and often I read the old postings. I have become like the peacock in the Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna who keeps coming back for his dose of opium. These visits to the courtyard have become a point of reflection about the past. I watch how life has transformed since each of those postings was written. Each posting has its own flavor and brings to the forefront its own perspectives. There are recurring themes that occur and these are followed by words of hope or inspiration.
The essential point is have these visits to the courtyard brought about a change in me? If yes is this change real or transient? Have these visits to the courtyard made a difference? Am I a better son of the Mother after these visits? Have I moved ahead in my spiritual life?
I think about these issues and wonder? I do not know the answer to these questions. This place has a sense of sanctity. There is an odd peace when I come here. I meet and talk to other children here and on a personal level communicate with them. I lean on them and I hope that in their interactions with me, I am able to give them some words of inspiration. This place has become my "spiritual company" one of the qualities that Sri Ramakrishna talks about in the Gospel. There is much benefit coming here, if for nothing just to sit and ponder. To get away from "ups and downs" of the world to the peace and tranquility that is always felt in the presence of the Mother.
If we are in the presence of the Mother the transformation has to occur. How much transformation has occurred, only the Mother knows. But for her son, I am just happy to be in Her presence.
These are words I have copied from the guestbook. They are wonderful and inspiring
" Mother, the world fills my mind and I feel weary and fearful. I come to you for refuge and strength, but thoughts spin endlessly. I feel no comfort. Perhaps to escape the thoughts, I fall asleep, but the sleep brings no rest.
I know you are my only refuge and my one desire. You alone. When I am able to remember your Name, then only do I rest in quiet peace.
But I cannot remember often enough. Worldly cares press in, and I become entrapped in their resolution. There is so much to take care of, Mother,
Help me to be efficient, that I may remember you as I work. For in this memory is my strength; knowing that we are in this together"
