Thanks Anthony for sharing your state of "tamas" which I think is a symptom of the times we are all in. Since long, I have felt uninspired and disconnected.
You have raised a wonderful question of getting close to the fire. I agree we need to get close to the fire, but we need to make this movement since we do not remember that the fire is within each one of us. Since we do not have the direct perception that the fire is within us, we need the courtyard to be the fire for us. If we knew the fire was within us then we would not shiver (using your metaphor)
We all are struggling with our demons. Each one has to deal with them. This concept of fighting the lower tendencies within us forms the background for the Epic “Mahabharata”. It is a daily struggle. And every single day we need to work on it. Sri Ramakrishna would mention in the Gospel that we need to scrub the utensils everyday to keep them sparkling. So this courtyard is not only our fire but also “sparkling ground” our place where we sit together as a community and make sure that our utensils sparkle.
The Mother who is ever present here and within us is always our inner guide. What makes Her unique is the love that She had for ALL her children, from the great Swami Saradananda to the robber Amjad and all those in between. The Mother knows each one of us better than we know ourselves and accepts us they way we are. At the same time She is always encouraging us to move towards the Supreme Goal. May we all move towards Her.
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Even though one knows that when things are not going well, Mother is always 'available', it's strange how one shies away almost from Her and from Spiritual things generally - thus perpetuating the ignorance and pain ofcourse.
Sometimes in acute times of pain one finds oneself able to cry to Mother, and to find solace. Lately i have been in some tamasic state of spiritual limbo which has felt overlong. Atleast Mother, through an e-mail from one of the Children who come here, has allowed me to post in the Courtyard again. These may be small things, but i feel as if i've stopped shivering over in the corner and atleast approached the fire just through this action.
