The situation that you describe above, the hankering...is EXACTLY WHERE WE FIND OURSELVES.
This is how I think and how I will try to explain what I mean...Did we ask to be born(?), or do we find ourselves here? Do we want this trouble and this pain(?), or do we find ourselves here?
When we do not obtain the object of our hankering, or even if we do, that is when we ask ourselves, "But is this devotion to God?" When we are in pain and suffering we say, "But where is my devotion to God?"
When I said above that I realize that this is my work, what I mean is that I have never known what my path was to be. (Karma, Bhakti, etc) It's not really a choice, I don't think, but a knowing. After hearing it from Mother's voice, I begin to know.