Sri Ramakrishna said:


"Once a man realizes God through intense dispassion,
he is no longer attached to woman.
Even if he must lead the life of a householder,
he is free from fear of and attachment to woman.
Suppose there are two magnets, one big
and the other small.
Which one will attract the iron?
The big one,of course.
God is the big magnet. Compared to Him,
woman is a small one.
He who has realized God does not look upon
a woman with the eye of lust;
so he is not afraid of her.
He perceives clearly that women are but so
many aspects of the Divine Mother.
He worships them all as the Mother Herself."

-also-

"God cannot be realized without purity of heart.
One receives the grace of God by subduing the passions -
lust, anger, and greed. Then one sees God.
I tried many things in order to conquer lust.
"When I was ten or elevn years old and lived at KAmArpukur,
I first experienced samAdhi.
As I was passing through a paddy-field,
I saw something and was overwhelmed.
There are certain characteristics of God-vision.
One sees light, feels joy, and experiences
the upsurge of a great current in one's chest,
like the bursting of a rocket."

-again-

"When you plunge in the water of the ocean,
you may be attacked by alligators.
But they won't touch you if your body is smeared with Turmeric.
There are no doubt six alligators - lust, anger, avarice,
and so on - within you, in the 'heart's fathomless depths'.
But protect yourself with the turmeric of discrimination and
renunciation, and they won't touch you."

Swami Vivekananda said:

"Each soul is potentially divine . The goal is to manifest this
divinity within by controlling nature , external and internal. Do
this either by work , or worship or psychic control or philosophy -
by one or more or all of these and be free".

Then again, we will find a totally different point of view, in
Jiddu Krishnamurti's quote:

"Every thought and feeling must flower for them to live and die.
Flowering of everything in you, the ambition, the greed, the hate,
the joy, the passion - there is their death and freedom. It is only
in freedom that anything can flourish, not in suppression, in control
and discipline, these only pervert, corrupt. Flowering and freedom is
goodness and all virtue".

More Quotes

Upon re-reading the preceding post, I notice
the stress upon the word 'supress'.

As far as I know, Vedanta does not encourage
'suppression' of lust and/or other natural
passions; but rather to 'redirect' those
desires towards God. If you must have lust,
then 'lust for God'.

The word used in the original post, I also noticed, was CONTROL. Control might be a thread to it's own purpose (defining any situation in life) ...what or who is being put under control?

There is a way...it has been shown....but is it control??? Is it discipline? Is it knowledge?

I read at in another forum that we dig our own hell by our desires.......???

Location: New Bern, NC

Thank you, your replies were very encouraging..... but alas while we all read these wonderful sayings by the great masters, assimilating them and actually practising them in our day to day lives is another thing altogether....

thank you sister rosemary, your posts always bring a smile to my face.........:)

i was just wondering is there a difference between love and lust, or do we just give lust a better name when we say we are in love.......

while it is natural for young people to 'fall in love' reading spiritual books regarding this matter gives us a totally different perspective...

from what i have understood there is no place for this love in spiritual life......

I read a beautiful book 'strive to attain God' by swami Virajananda. have you read it sister rosemary? very clearly swamiji says that one must strive to attain God and God ALONE.... most of the books i have read , sat the very same thing.

Just thought i^d add my tuppence worth on the subject..
Seems that one has to know what one wants; to lead a celibate life, or to have a family.
A good friend who is now leading a celibate life in the U.S once bemoaned the fact that he didn*t have a partner, saying how much he thought a good sattvic woman would help him in his sadhana. I asked him if he*d be happy if she was full of sattva but ugly, and he had to admit that what he really wanted was a pretty face..
Erm, wandering a bit there, but the point of making a decision, and then doing one*s level best to stick to it, no matter what, that is surely important.
Anon, have not read that book of Swami Virajanandas but another, "Towards the Goal Supreme" is highly inspiring. As he is my ParamaGuru, it is especially so. He certainly doesn*t mince his words!
All good things to everyone here!

Location: England

Anon,
You have brought up two points that came to my mind on reading your original post, but did not want to address as I was not sure I was in my place to do so...however, as they have been touched on...here goes...
You did confuse me as to your actual dilemna...is it love you are seeking? There did appear to me to be some confusion as to the nature of love in your mind...
Also, the other point... what do you see as your divine purpose here in the body??

Do you want to follow the path of the celibate sadhu, or are you like some of Master's disciples whom he directed to live as householders? It is my belief that you must look within and listen to the whisperings of the Master.
Somehow, I feel sure that He will lead you.
Also, as a sort of disclaimer, I would like to say that I have not reached any level of knowledge to give spiritual advice...I can only tell you what I feel from a womanly instinct about your situation...
I wonder where Jayanti is???

"Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you"

Location: North Carolina

Jayanti has been caught playing in maya!

My thoughts, while reading this post.

"It is not for the sake of the husband that the husband is loved, but for the Atman (Higher Self) that is within the husband.
"It is not for the sake of the wife that wife is loved, but for the Atman (Higher Self) that is within the wife.
"It is not for the sake of the child that the child is loved, but for the Atman (Higher Self) that is within the child, etc."

A swami, whom I consulted recently about playing in maya, said that people tend to forget that the manifest world is also Brahman. It's easy to think about rejecting the world for God; but wisdom to recognize where we are and trying, as spiritual practice, to see the divine in the world around us.

Sri Ramakrishna likened renunciation to a scab. If we tear it off before the sore heals the would will likely become infected. We must allow worldliness to fall from us naturally, like the scab falls from the healed wound. In the meantime we can practice those disciplines which encourage our love for God just as we take care of a wound so it may heal quickly.

I forgot to say that I have not read the book, but will look into it.

Hey, Anthony, & Web Admin...and all who are reading the posts here...

Location: North Carolina

Thank you, Jayanti!! I was hoping someone would be able to say that...I felt that the falling away of desires must come naturally, but did not have the background research to make the statement...Meantime, Anon, please do not beat yourself up!!

Location: North Carolina

A long, long time ago I heard an explanation of how to get children to share their toys...and it always had deep psychological implications for me on many different levels.

If a parent asks a very young child (we are talking about a 3 year old level, maybe) to share or give up a toy, and the child balks and refuses, then it means that the child does not have a feeling of ownership for the toy. The child must first come to the realization that the toy is his, only then, can the child make his own decision about the act of relinquishing.

You see, it does not mean that the child is greedy or stingy or that the parent is a bad parent. The process just has not finished in the mind of the child..

This explanation has been a big help to me.

Jai Ma!

Location: North Carolina

Very good one as I have found from practical experience! Enjoy as if it belonged to you. Leaving it is then easy for you feel some interest in its/his/her welfare! Making sense? Lust has been my achilles heel, it emanated from my real disease, unhealthy ego. Company of the children of God (not in the Vedantic sense of all being His children) is the only remedy for me at present not to go berserk. His child, Fhanindra has given me the love to continue to fight. He asked me, do you want to die or live. I choose to live. Then you have to fight, he said. The good company is the most important. Don't read too much, Anon. I have read legions. ANd it has only given me excuses to hide my weaknesses. Then Holy Mother thrashed me (I used to cry like a madman, Kali Ma(identical with Sarada), Kali Ma, beat me, in our language! And I am much better for the beating! Matter of personal experience, not to be taken literally or emulated at all.

Location: Guwahati, Assam, India

Anon, one another point with regard to lust. Patience, patience, patience, accept, accept, accept your weaknesses as they are. It will make you a better person. MOTHER(NATURE) KNOWS WHEN TO TUEN OFF THE TAP, SAYS SRI FHANINDRA. How I hated myself and others, the objects of my lust when my ordeal started ten years ago! Then, Holy Mother mellowed me and today I am a little more at peace though unable to see the shore in any way yet. Believe in MA no matter what happens. She is kindness incarnate.
ps. Don't dwell too much on the thoughts you don't like, says Sri Fhanindra.
Love.

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Replying to:

What does one do to control sexual thoughts? I seem to find it impossible to keep my mind chaste.........

I was previously very devoted to God, and even moderate control of such thoughts was possible, then i fell in love with a member of the opp sex, i was totally obssessed with that person, even my prayers became less, and my thoughts revovled arouns that person and not around God..... nothing much came of it, the person didnt seriously care about me...

but even now, i feel a lot has changed about me and my way of thinking, i am 25 yrs old, previously i thought a lot of leading a spiritual life, but now i no longer seem to constantly desire it, i find myself wanting a worldy life............

but when i look around i see relationships breaking, who truly loves anyone here, the wonderful state of mind i was in previously has gone for good, i feel a lot has changed about me...... for the worse im afraid

i try to pray, but prayer without renounciation is not the same thing is it? everywhere in the books published by the Ramakrishna mission i read the importance of continence.

Location: Guwahati, Assam, India