Dear Tom,

Your family tree was interesting. I notice that you are descended from a line of Whartons. There was an American novelist by the name of Edith Wharton which came to mind when seeing "Edith Bonham" as did the name of Helena Bonham-Carter, whom you have mentioned before. I do enjoy genealogy but it may just be an enjoyment of discovery.

If you look at my family tree you would notice a lot of "CSA" letters indicating military service during the Civil War. One of my great grandfathers died as a result of Union Soldiers pulling him from his sick bed (measles) to show them the best place to ford on the Tennessee River. My grandfather Rudder's grandmother was a "Washington" of Virginia. It seems that the first president and I share a common set of grandparents. According to family history, Eleanor Stephens, (great-great grandmother) was sister to the Vice-President of the Confederacy, Alexander Stephens. However, when I stopped at the Stephens Homestead in Crawfordville, GA, I was told that he didn't have a sister (he did have a sister, however, who "died young"). Still, this oral tradition appears in our family genealogy text, and I haven't been able to sort it all out. I also have a great Aunt who claims that she was a "Cherokee Princess". Sheesh. There does seem to be some truth to that, but it is hard to prove.

Anyway, moving on....it seems that you and I see what Swamiji might or might not have said in a different light. In my mind I would rather have been talked to in a harsh manner, feelings hurt sure, but at least you would know where you stood. Feeling harshly and talking harshly would be in order under this circumstance. I can certainly understand Swamiji taking up for his brethren and to a "memsahib" who didn't understand the hardship and loyalties that lay beneath. Whatever transpired on this occasion (and it seems to come directly from Joe's memoirs) it did not change the feelings between Joe and Swamiji going in either direction. Their love for each other outdistanced any "truth" or harsh manner of words between them.

It is very interesting that again you see this comment so differently. I would prefer being put in my place and since we are on the subject, the comment before about the "ugly proposal" to Narendra, and his reply to it---I did not see it frightening in the least. I saw it as truth. Oh, well, a different way of perceiving, I suppose.

The attitudes between the two cultures was very uptight back in this time. This is another interesting peek into the world of India at that time...

"Sister Nivedita wrote about another incident: 'One of the servants came to cook and said, "I want honey, but the mems (European ladies) have eaten from this jar, so I cannot take it!" p 54, Tantine

Wow!

On March 17 of this year, I read the following passage in "Tantine" which concerns the European ladies and the Holy Mother.

"On March 17, Vivekananda took Joe and her companions to the the Holy Mother, as Sri Sarada Devi, the wife of Sri Ramakrishna, came to be called in English....(p.41...

...p42To have foreigners visit her strictly orthodox home was itself daring, for whatever they might touch there would be considered contaminated. It was a breach of caste rules for her to eat with non-Brahmin Indians, what to speak of foreigners. Thus Joe gained a great victory for their cause that day. Nivedita's biographer writes about the significance of this act of the Holy Mother, "It was a sanction given by her to accept and absorb these Western devotees within the folds of Hindu society. Vivekananda, delighted, wrote about it to his brother disciple, Swami Ramakrishnananda, 'Sri Mother is here, and the European and American ladies went the other day to see her, and what do you think, Mother ate with them even there! Is not that grand?"

Yours in Holy Mother's Grace,
Rosemary

March Days on the Neuse River

Location: North Carolina

Dear Rosemary,

Yes, Genealogy is an interesting subject....unfortunately, I never really
developed a serious interest in it.

I believe in the possibility of the "Cherokee Princess" great aunt.

My mother remembers, as a child, one of her aged female relatives, sitting by
the fire like a squaw, smoking her pipe and wrapped in an Indian blanket.

I guess that you wouldn't find her on any lineage chart.

Regarding Swamiji's harsh words to "Joe"....it just seems out of character,
after reading so many of his speeches and writings. He must have realized
that she would find Alasingha Perumal's appearance very strange, with the
Vaishnava markings on his forehead. Especially, since Swamiji had traveled
through USA and Europe and understood the 'Western' people very well. I just don't see
the need for harshness. Anyway, it's not important.

Here is a photo of the gentleman in question:



Of course, we may have different perceptions and ideas about 'putting people in their place'.

I was taught at a very young age, by my old Irish teachers, that people will be won
over with sweetness, tolerance and kindness; rather than with harsh admonition and
caustic commentary.

After all, Holy Mother once said: "My son, forbearance is a great virtue, there is no
other like it."

Regarding the 'honey incident', the Brahmins have very detailed, strict customs
and rules concerning caste purity. Even the King of England would not be welcome
at their table. He would be considered just another "Mleecha" (foreigner without
caste).

Holy Mother had the right idea, of course....however, she was obliged to be careful,
lest her laxity with foreign women may scandalize her orthodox community.

However, from what I have read, Sri Sarada Devi always had a liberal attitude
towards these things, generally speaking. Here is a quote from "In the Company
of the Holy Mother":

Udbodhan, 8 February, 1912: Mother was talking about her life at Dakshineswar:

"For a while I had a maid called Jadu's mother. An old woman would visit us, who had
formerly led an evil life but prayed to God in her old age. I was so much alone that
when she came I would talk with her. One day the Master saw us and said, 'Why let her
in here?' I answered, 'She speaks good words nowadays, all about God. What's the harm?
people's minds change.' But He said, 'No, No, she is a prostitute, why talk with her?
However changed she may be, avoid her.' He forbade any conversation with such people
in case they had a bad influence over me. That was how he protected me from harm."


RE: March Days on the Neuse River

You live in a truly beautiful area of North Carolina. Thanks for sharing that
lovely photo.

Have a great day,

Om Shanthi Om
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