Oh Yum, I would be glad to die. Life has in many ways been such a failure, and I cannot feel that I am really essential to the Women's Education--and yet, as long as I live, and we are not rich enough to separate, I have to be counted. Everything would it seems to me go better, if I could be left out! Only one or two books remain...
...I dread outliving everyone I care for. Of course it would be different if one could realise the golden aspirations of 1898--and live in a cell. But even then--and it seems impossible to attain, nor does one seem commonly worthyo fo the chance--oen could write no more and teach no more!"
Letters of Sister Nivedita, Vol II, pp 1223, Mr. Basu
"...I suppose I have really made a tempest in a tea cup about S. Sara's notions and Mrs. Brigg's influence. The whole world is a criss-cross of psychic desires and intentions, and we wade knee-deep through it all the time. I think there is perhaps a certain truth in it, and yet it is not so important as I felt it while I was writing to you. Mrs. Hellyer's view is just, too. And the actual danger of death or insanity is proably non-existent. I want to be sane. At the same time, the experience was a very real one and the horror overwhelming. The net result is an echo of Swamiji "give up this Maya! Seek to reach Mukti!" Let them settle it as they will--let Psychic influences fight it out amongst them. There is only one salvation, and that is Mukti. There is only one way to help--and that is to reach it!"
Letters of Sister Nivedita, pp 1170 - 1171, edited by Mr. Basu
