02-March-2012 (Friday)
Reminiscences of The Holy Mother!!!

SWAMI APURVANANDA - 18

That night I was the only devotee at Jayrambati. Mother stood a little apart when I ate, and she supervised my meal closely as I had not eaten during the day. I spent almost a sleepless night in impatient anticipation of the auspicious morning. In the morning, I bathed in the pond and awaited her call. I neither knew nor had I found out what were the requisites for an initiation. Besides, I had no money at all. Around eight o’clock, the attendant-sadhu took me to Mother’s worship room and closed the door from outside. Mother was seated on an asana, performing puja, and beside her, there was another asana. Mother directed me to sit there after offering pranam to the Master. When I had done so, she poured a little Ganga water in my hands and sprinkled some of it all over my body. At her touch I felt a thrilling sensation and inexpressible joy filled my heart. Mother sat with her eyes closed for some time and then asked me, “Does Master appeal to you?” As soon as I had confirmed that it was so, she uttered a mantra three times and asked me to repeat it. Just after that she suddenly pointed at the wall alongside saying, “Here, here is your Ishta!” At once the wall was illumined by a blinding flash of dazzling light in which a living, effulgent form of a goddess manifested itself. She was gazing at me tenderly. In the twinkling of an eye, something indefinable seemed to have taken place. I lost all awareness of myself, being in a state of utter bewilderment. This lasted only a few seconds. Mother’s appearance too had undergone a change then. Moments later Mother asked me gently, “Son, were you afraid?” I sat silently with my head bowed, unable to reply. Then Mother held my right hand and carefully taught me the process of japa, touching each and every relevant spot on my palm. Mother was speaking to me, but somehow I was not myself. Repeatedly she touched my fingers at the relevant spots, and uttering the mantra, kept demonstrating the method of japa again and again, asking me to repeat the mantra after her. I did so. Finally she indicated Master’s picture and said, “Offer pranam to him, he alone is your Guru – he is your all in all, in this world and the next. Master himself is the essence of all gods and goddesses.” I offered pranam to the Master and then to Mother also. Then she gave me instructions regarding the number of times the mantra was to be repeated and some advice relating to meditation. I did not have any idea at that time of Mother’s real identity, her true nature, nor do I still have any. But it had struck me then that she had the power to bring about at will the manifestation of God.

(REMINISCENCES OF Sri Sarada Devi by Monastics, Devotees, and others - Compiled and Edited in Bengali by SWAMI PURNATMANANDA - Translated by MALOTI SEN GUPTA : P 58-59)

Location: Bangalore, India