Thank you for sharing that, Paritosh. I sometimes think that the purpose of these never-ending tests are to make us soul tired so that our soul cries out to Mother and Mother then takes us on Her lap for ever. I remember two things in this connection. First what my friend Mridul told me. He told me that God tests those people only whom He intends to Grace. Next, what another friend Debajit told me. He told me that Swami Bhuteshananda, whose personality beamed with universal love born out of his God-realization early in life, told once that He (Thakur) need not have made God-realization so tough. He could, that is to say, have made the path easier and smoother for those children of His who want Him and Him only. When such a great soul as Bhuteshananda Ji remarks thus, we all have a right to complain to Shri Ramakrishna whenever the going gets too rough and tough. He loves our complaining as he loves our devotions, He loves everything from us as long as it is directed towards Him. That is perhaps the meaning of directing the passions Godward in order to sublimate them. Here it might be appropriate to share some quotes of the Holy Mother:
Disciple: “I cannot concentrate my mind during meditation. My mind is fickle and unsteady.”
Mother: “Don’t worry. Restlessness is the nature of the mind, as it is of the eyes and ears. Practise regularly. The Name of God is more powerful than the senses. Always think of the Master, who is looking after you. Don’t be troubled about your lapses.”
Disciple: “However I may try to remove evil thoughts, I do not succeed.”
Mother: “This is the result of what you have done in your past life. Can one get rid of it by force? Cultivate good company, try to be good, and in time you will succeed. Pray to the Master. I, too, am here.
“Don’t be afraid. I tell you in this Kaliyuga mental sin is no sin. Free your mind from all worries on this account. Can anyone altogether destroy lust. A little of it remains as long as one has a body. But it can be subdued, as a snake can be subdued by charmed dust.”
“When I was in Vrindaban, I used to visit Bankubihari [Krishna in a bent pose] and pray to Him: ‘Your form is bent, but your mind is straight. Lord, let there be no crookedness in my mind.’”