Reminiscences by Swami Satswarupananda

During Puja holidays in 1919, Jnan Maharaj himself accompanied me to Jayrambati. Mother resided in her new house then, and arrangements were made for me to stay in the outer room of this house. I had gone to Jayrambati with many fanciful ideas. Jnan Maharaj, after going in, and having informed about my arrival, led me to Mother. Rammoy Maharaj used to attend on Mother then. I found this diminutive person rather likeable. It was he who took me to Mother who was seated on the edge of a wooden cot in her room. I offered my pranam to her. Mother’s figure and her face reminded me of my grandmother. At that time I did not sense any divineness in her. She seemed quite able bodied, her limbs sturdy and strong. Mother’s true nature is beyond our conception – who can know her unless she reveals herself? Māyayā bahurūpāni, “She uses her mystic power to assume many forms.” She obscured her identity with the help of Maya, which also left my vision blurred

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and my understanding bemused. Perhaps the time was not yet ripe for me.

I came to know that Mother was indisposed. It was Jnan Maharaj’s wish that I receive initiation from Mother during that visit. But Mother said, “Son, I am not well now, it will be later.” Perhaps I too was not quite ready for initiation. So Mother, ever beguiling, used her indisposition as a pretext not to accept me for the time being. On that occasion I spent a few days there, and from a distance, watched Mother a great deal – in a homely setting, engaged in multifarious activities. But to tell the truth, I did not experience any lofty spiritual mood. Nevertheless, I certainly gathered the impression that Mother was as loving and compassionate as the closest member of one’s family. When I offered pranam to her at the time of my departure, she looked at me and spoke to me. Those who had offered pranam to her before me had presented her with a leafy branch of an amlaki tree along with flowers and bel leaves. She was still seated on the asana for puja. Just as I bowed in obeisance, Mother suddenly picked up the amlaki leaves, and showing them to me, said, “Do you know, son, these amlaki leaves are as dear to Shiva as bel leaves.” I don’t know why she said it, but to this day I remember that utterance. I returned to my place of work thereafter, but from time to time, my thoughts would fly to Jayrambati.

THE COMPASSIONATE ONE – by SWAMI SATSWARUPANANDA (REMINISCENCES OF Sri Sarada Devi by Monastics, Devotees, and others - Compiled and Edited in Bengali by SWAMI PURNATMANANDA - Translated by MALOTI SEN GUPTA : P 70 – 71)

Location: Bangalore