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Feature Comedy/Drama re: Priesthood

*Full script available

Logline:
A man approaching 30 at a dead end seeks shelter from the cruel world, joining the priesthood, planning to use it as a means to an end while continuing to toil away but has a change of heart, even when temptation’s so strong, when he starts to see the good in people.

One Pager:
JOE is lazy, pushing 30 and living with his dad. His life's a sedentary one, spending each mundane moment watching it and his bank account whither away. But with the rediscovery of a childhood ambition, he’s seeing the light in more ways than one. His copout/fail safe ‘ambition’ is to become a man of the cloth before becoming a man in tattered cloths. Hell, it’d at least put a roof over his desperate head, even if he doesn’t believe but Joe is about to find out that life offers more than meets the eye when he starts, heaven forbid, to actually feel for others!

But Joe’s not a lost sheep (yet). He does have that job with his trusty but floundering buddy, ALFONSE, at his failing flower shop, which, if frequented by anybody, is frequented by bill collectors. Well, there was that one girl...what was her name? Anyway, while Alfonse seems fine with his fiscality, Joe ain’t, and after some failed tries at pouring coffee, mopping floors and greeting insolent record shoppers, all at dead end jobs, he decides to dish out the plan — to be a full blown priest. But how does one even enter the life of the holy spirit? The only spirits Joe has ever known were measured in percent and pints.

The trouble? Joe’s no saint! He’s vying for the clergy for god’s three star room and board, a slight sense of purpose (even if he doesn’t believe in it) and to coast his way through eternity. Hey, he can even still carry on with his wayward ways. He doesn’t need to believe, it’s just a means to an end, after all.

Joe continues seeing that mysterious and seemingly flustered young lady around by the name of NATALIE. Wait, was she the one he saw in the record store too? Joe is quickly caught in her grasp, but is torn after discovering that she may work in the same field as the one he’s vying for and surely an office affair is to be frowned upon, especially when your employer is the big guy upstairs. She is still pretty though, and cool and smart and well, questioning her beliefs as she may be falling for him too.

Another thing happens along the way. Through chance he overhears a confessional: there’s a good deal of illegal cash being stowed away. With it, Joe could lead the empty, lethargic life he’s always dreamed of. The problem? The unthinkable's happened: he's slowly starting to find that he cares. He just does. That wasn’t part of the plan! He's now at a crossroads with his whole belief system and plan!. And, dammit, Natalie’s teaching him that there’s more to life than what he’d always thought. Does he keep on cheating his way through life or sacrifice his dream of frivolity in order to help others?