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Feature film / comedy


Logline /

Armed with 20 pairs of nail scissors, a rogue Abbot and a conclave of monks, attempt to protect their isolated village from the un-Godly by censoring every newspaper entering the community which portrays parts of the female anatomy.


The remote village in the Catalonian hills of Northern Spain appears to have ignored a Vatican law dating back to 1970, whereby censorship of the press had been lifted. Implementing his own rules instead, the Abbot believes his God given duty is to protect his parishioners by censoring the tabloid press by using his conclave of monks. Albeit, not without problems: What to do with the many thousands of naughty clippings? What if they should fall into the wrong hands? Should breasts be separated from buttocks or thrown in a pot together? An orgy? God forbid! The challenge appears insurmountable until a talented young novice, Brother Nicholas, provides a creative solution. Just when the Abbot thinks his diocese is under control again, his monks become temporarily blinded. The wrath of God?. Whatever the reasons, all hell breaks loose. Simultaneously, angry parishioners take to the streets in protest. Word reaches the Vatican and an outraged Pope John the 2nd sends Cardinal Augustus Molina on a mission to investigate the wayward Abbot and put a stop to all the nonsense. The story does not end well: Condemned to a rehabilitation centre for wayward clerics in Northern Ireland, Abbot Molestus Brestus is forced to face his own demons.