Loglines

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Mount Ascension - Family Dramedy

A filthy-rich TV evangelist recovers from a coma and returns from the afterlife a changed man. When he tries to donate his wealth to those who genuinely need it, his family disowns him and throws him out of his own church. With only his estranged, resistant, and agnostic son to help, he decides to rebuild himself and attempt to live an honest life.

Re: Mount Ascension - Family Dramedy

You can't start a story being a "changed man" already. The story should change the character as they experience it.

Ebeneezer Scrooge didn't start the story by wanting to be good. He learned to be good while experiencing the story.


Give us more on the main character. It needs an adjective for him and a better goal than "rebuild himself".


Honestly, as I read this I realise that your logline almost sounds like the END of a story. After the main character has died and paid the ultimate price, he gets a second chance and learns from his mistakes.

Re: Mount Ascension - Family Dramedy

Thanks for your feedback on the logline. Make no mistake, it was well received and much appreciated.

Writing a logline is an art form within an art form and one that I will get right.

Best wishes